speech day rehearsal SUCKED

Speech Day rehearsal sucked!!

Sucked Sucked Sucked!

1. We won't be marching in. why? no one will be seeing
2. We will be running out. why? not enough time
3. After the whole damned thing, the girls will proceed to the ground floor. Boys, 2nd floor. why? the girls may be scared.

Just GUESS.

What is the THING that the girls may be scared.

And when we saw the THING, we were "DAMN SCARED"

IT'S THE DAMN PARTY POPPERS. [-.-'']

Oh My God, I am so not going to touch those scary little things anymore. *rolls eyes*

It's pure lameness from the teachers. REALLY

Just can't stand it and we're supposed to wear No. 3.

The skirts are like so short okay. Like what Fadhlee said, Barbie Doll's skirt.

Missed all of them like hell LAH.

Anyway, went through Sexual Reproduction In Animals today. Not surprisingly, everyone was wide awake and taking down notes, for the first time. Even Mathew, was wide awake listening hard.

My class. My class (: Not the best, but damn united.
--
Quickies

chicken. : you don't even bother how we friends care for you when you were hurt and you think violence solves everything. Now look at your face. how bruised it is? and you think it's worth. I will box the other eye of yours. (:

shaun: eh. stop threatening me with him okay. your blog and your bag arh. wahh.

jannie: (: im here.

ivor: eh, why you never come back wan?

thank you eh? part d's

Okay, Affirmation was "great".

No, overall the ceremony, I would rate it a 4. Yes. AND NO. it wasn't because of the special guests of the campus superstar. Some campus superstar came to the ceremony due to the fact that YuYang was actually a cadet of NCC. So, Yuyang was there and with 2 girls. I don't know them, but I presume they're from Campus Superstar too. Oh, I don't watch Campus superstar. that's why I presume.

The repelling/abseilling and-

Okay, let's put it this way. The dropping of people from a tower was cool and the fireworks too. The speeches were long and don't you even expect Lynette to hear them. I practically slept through the speeches with my eyes open. Eh, you can't blame me. I had tuition in the morning at Ms Huang's house which is at Geylang. Then I straight away travel back to school to check on the Part A's attire and then zoomed off with them to Indoor Stadium.

You know how tiring it is right? haiyo

What's more. I sleep alot. and with that little 3 hours plus sleep, wasn't going cover up the 15 hours sleep I have to have.

Anyway, back to Affirmation.

I have no idea why was I not very-included in the talks that my platoon mates shared. perhaps i know why. So, the 5 of them sat together and I was at the end of the line. On my right was A irritating CO from outram sec. I find him crude. Very crude in fact. He complains and complains and start his sentences with very nice hokkien words. It's not vulgarites. But it doesn't sound quite right to be coming out from a teacher. Especially to students. I guess. That's my point of view. OH, he talks very LOUD.

Whenever I bend forward from my chair, I'll see the 5 of them, with my CO, talking happily. And you know how it feels to be left out.

No, I don't want attention. I just want to blend in. Like part of everyone.

It all started in the bus. The NCO's sat behind, and I was in the middle. Then, foreign languages kept playing in my ears. From left and right. So, I put on my Mp3 and decided not to talk.

Yaya. you might say I could have just asked them to speak in English. But, I don't feel quite well saying that.

THEN, My dear platoon mate shoved me aside. "Eh, You sit there can?" she points to the window seat.

Do you know how does it feels like? I don't want to go through this at all. It all happened before. But I just had to type it out because there's no one to talk to.

Im typing this out. I know Feeza will probably see all these. I don't care. It fucking hurts.

I also hate the fact when my CO actually introduced me to DC as "the only chinese girl in Part D"

I love the NCO's ALOT. yes. ALOT. But sometimes.. There's just no connection. It's like you people are from Earth. and Im from Moon. something like that.

So. please part d's. CONTINUE to talk in suria channel. Yes. How were you all feeling When the Campus Superstars sang Chinese songs that you all didn't understand at all? Bored? Pissed off?
Grumbling "why are they singing chinese songs when there are malays and indians here?"

Imagine how I felt. Whenever Im with you all.

In fact, I would say. Imagining isn't enough AT ALL.

14h 5 min

14 hours and 5 min left.

holidays will officially end.

im ready. ready to face the hypocrisy, betrayal, favouritisms and questions.

1 day, 14hours and 5 mins.

the day. where everything will come to an end.

And never again,
And never again,
They gave us two shots to the back of the head,
And we're all dead now...



I tried,
One more night,
One more night,
We will,
Laugh out,
Cry out,
Laugh out loud!

You know? sometimes, when you keep telling a lie over and over again to yourself. you somehow actually believe it.

Everything was a dream. My sweet dream.

BUT.

It doesn't really matter anymore.


doesn't really matter anymore..

swim swam swum!!

I went swimming today.

10 x breath
5 x length.

and than, PLAY!! hahaha. ((:

Forgot to do warm up. err. NVMS! :D

alrights. Piccies time. hoho.








wells. those were feeza, lynette and soyah!

tata peeps

enrichment.

im feeling a little weird today.

It's like lacking of something. But, HAHA. nevermind.

Went to school for my enrichment today. Art, to be precise. I took 3 hours to paint 3 freaking bittergourds on my canvas.

Hard work man. I'll take a photo of the completed thing when it's done.

Apparently, Mrs Tang did the most hardest part of all, the face. Good for me.

Well, haqiem, alif and me played around with the acrylic paint when Ms Ng wasn't looking. Now, I've yellow and white paint all over me body. The worst thing is, It's ACRYLIC. Isn't really very washable.

Oh well. (: Consequences.

EH. Its super unfair. I've never went for an investiture nor a convention before. ALL OF YOU WENT FOR IT!. And than YOU ATTACHED ME TO A SCHOOL WHOSE INVESTITURE IS ALREADY OVER. loser leh u all.

I don't care ah. I want to go. I don't care. At least for a reputable school. hur hur.

Some of the prefects left for their Bangkok trip yesterday. I wanted to go so much, but thinking that I've to spend 3 darn days with rukmani, please lah k. i rather talk to myself. HAHA.

She's like a cockroach.

I detest her.

Don't even make me comment about the same colour that she shares with the cockroach.

HAHA. that's so mean.

But whatever. she's meaner to me than I am to her.

Just because I have my own mind, she refuses to bring me up to Exco board.

It's okay. Im looking down on it anyway. Never yearned for it. Perhaps before. Now, NEVER.

Thank God, I've never begged for that piece of crap.

Soyah says Im infatuated with mathew teng.

How can it be? He's my husband for 4 years already.

HAHAHA.

we're both who are able to change sex at different times.

so, sometimes, we're sisters. sometimes, we're brothers.

HAHAHA. funny la u people.

to mathew:

teng teng. I like you leh!!
abit only!! *uses finger to measure*

*burst into laughter*

of course not real. hur hur.

100 things!! ((:

100 things you MIGHT wanna know bout her.

1. She's a girl. [haha]
2. She's the only child in her family.
3. She's crazy over My Chemical Romance.
4. Especially the vocalist, Gerard Way. [woohoo!]
5. She's in NCC,
6. Currently a Staff Sergant rank.
7. She love camps especially out of singapore.
8. She loves kampongs.
9. She loves dogs!
10. To be exact, Animals.
11. NOT insects.
12. She's an I N F P
13. When she's stress, she goes crazy
14. Which is approximately everytime.
15. She hates comparisons.
16. She likes volleyball.
17. She plays the guitar.
18. She love kids.
19. She used to like Power Rangers when she was younger.
20. And Sailormoon.
21. And Sailormoon was the only anime she has watched till now.
22. She's a visual kinesthetic.
23. She's sporty.
24. She likes badminton.
25. She finds umbrellas cool.
26. She has stopped doing foolish things since end of last year.
27. She loves the rain.
28. Because she can cry when she walks under it.
29. And no one will know she cried as they will think it's the rain water.
30. She went to Australia twice.
31. Malacca many many times,
32. Genting, once,
33. Bangkok once,
34. Perak once,
35. Ipoh once,
36. Singapore, forever. [((:]
37. She has climbed Mt Ophir, Gunung Ledang.
38. She has climbed Bukit Timah Hill [ HAHAHA]
39. Ooh, She's a Christian.
40. Currently no crushes on anyone. [good sign]
41. She's a prefect. [ergh]
42. She has a 8 year old tortoise. [ i love it!]
43. She has been talking to it for the past few years and YET,
44. She doesn't know if it's a male or female.
45. She hates ginger
46. Loves mushrooms.
47. She's lame at times, no, all the while.
48. When young, she thinks she's a vampire.
49. She likes Backstreet Boys.
50. Regardless if it's their song or the members.
51. She likes to eat candy cane.
52. She misses her past.
53. But she wants to forget them.
54. She likes WHITE chocolate
55. She likes Rock Songs. ; punkrock.
56. She abhors Techno.
57. She has 3 malay cousins.
58. She loves them too.
59. She loves HUGS.
60. She's a never-been-kissed girl.
61. She's likes the colour Black,
62. Red,
63. Purple,
64. White and
65. Sky blue.
66. She lives in a HDB flat.
67. 4-room, to be exact.
68. Has been living there since she was born.
69. Her room has been painted light blue.
70. But to her, it looks like white.
71. She loves Stars.
72. She doesn't know anything about horoscopes
73. Therefore, she doesn't like them.
74. Even if she knows anything, She'll still dislike them.
75. All she knows about horoscope is that, She's a Librain.
76. She drank alcohol before.
77. Red Wine, at a wedding ceremony,
78. and Champange.
79. Oh, and a sip of jolly shandy. HAHA
80. She doesn't smoke.
81. Nor take drugs.
82. She won't hate her friends if they do.
83. She talks alot of nonsense.
84. She likes serenity.
85. Or with music.
86. Her hangout place is usually at the Reservoir,
87. Or the beach.
88. She detests racism.
89. She's a victim of it
90. She wants to go Australia to study.
91. She loves the Beaches at there.
92. She looks perfectly normal.
93. With a little extras around here and there. [HAHA]
94. But, she's not very well.
95. Mentally.
96. But she won't show it.
97. Stubborn old her.
98. She fakes a smile all the while.
99. She loves to laugh.
100. She loves you! ((:

adorable kiddos!

I just think that kids are so cute. adorable.


niece and me


my cousin's daughter,

Don't you think so? I mean all of us went through that phase when everybody just came over and pinch your fat cheeks and say "YOU're so cute", right? Though it still happens to some of us..

Lets not divert the topic.

Umm, yeah. those were the times when all we know was to play, eat, sleep and cry. Always fascinating at stuffs which adults think are dumb. For instance, I used to think that umbrellas are cool. HAHA. Don't know. But yeah, they're cool.

Than, Im crazy over power rangers, Sailormoon. *ahh, yes stella. this is the only anime I've watched*

Those were the times when we wished we could grow up faster.

But now, when we're grown ups, I yearn to be like the past. HAHA. Some stuffs that will never come true.
----
Was having a temperature this morning when I woke up for my tuition with Ms Huang at her house which is at GEYLANG.

SO FAR.

Yup, the flu didn't fly away. Those self-applied-medicine didn't work and I don't bother to go to the doctors.

Because, it's closed. HAHA. what a reason.

sisum

im NOT

I CANNOT PRETEND IM HAPPY WHEN IM NOT BECAUSE IM NOT HAPPY!

I know i have been doing it for the past year or so. But i do get sick of it. GET THAT?!

So what's is it all about? You think i smile because i am HAPPY?! You really think so? THINK AGAIN.

AND WHEN IM NOT HAPPY, I AM FEELING SAD, FEELING DOWN OR EVEN FEELING SUICIDAL,

PLEASE, don't even bother asking if im okay.

because im jolly well NOT okay. and YOU know it.

I KNOW you people mean well. THOUGH some not. You just wanna get juicy news out of me, right? You wanna know what has happened to me so that you can go tell your other 'friends'. and your 'friends' passed it to their 'other friends' and so on, right bitches and assholes?

I AM NOT OKAY!! FUCK. im suicidal and depressed. i cut myself. i do stupid cock whenever im alone. i go to the reservoir often, thinking whether the water is salty or what.

SO, people, PLEASE stop your wrong impression of miss lynette lee ai ling, yours truly.

SO, i smile, you add more force to my workload.
I cry, YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER! YOU DON'T EVEN CARE!

DONT even give me false hopes, thinking that 'someone finally knows how i feel.'
I THOUGHT i knew one. BUT HE DOESN't EVEN CARE. or perhaps.

Promises, promises, promises.

BROKEN, BROKEN, BROKEN.

numb numb numb.

LETTERS LETTERS LETTERS.

GONE, GONE, GONE!!!

all i ever wanted was just someone to care. THAT'S ALL.

BUT. reality hurts. like a bitch-slap.

IM SORRY FOR THIS ENTRY.

unbelievable.

but you came and changed my whole world now.



i cant help but breakdown.

sick

my mom has a special way of making me do stuffs willingly.

for myself.

mother: ling, go eat medicine.

me: wait ah. i saving something

-10 mins later-

mother: done? go eat the medicine, it's on the table.

me: wait first. *grin*

mother: no, NOW.

me: *look at her with pleading eyes*

mother: okay. tonight im coming to sleep with you.

me: har? okok. where's the medicine? * looks at her sheepishly*

mother : *laugh*

HAHA. (:

feel

do you people ever feel lonely and lost at night?

somedays i make it through. but the night never ends.

I don't know about you people, but i know i do. and i tend to do crazy stuffs.

i have been talking to myself. it became a habit. a very bad habit. but oh well, cos there's no one to talk to mah.

I have been coughing damn badly this past few days. in fact, the start of the week.

With a splitting headache, of course.

And with splitting headache, comes blocked/runny nose and watery/itchy eyes.

Buy 1 get 3 free.

Just guess how many packets of tissue i've used lah. Just for stuffing it into my nose.

And MISS NG said that i should stop doing that. It expands the nostril. That made me stare at her. It's hard to have teachers that understands you. it's a rare species if you ever come across one.

I just puked after NCC, when i reached home. I don't feel like going to the docs. i know the medicine that will cure me.

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE CD/VCD. thanks eh? you're so nice.

no lah. i think jus by popping panadols should kill the bug, i hope.

stupid. i got my ssg rank and jeryl got his msg rank. arsehole. show off lah. :E

i wanna hug you for the last time.

jus want you to know. ((:

just returned home from SSC.

okay, no lah. actually it's an hour ago.

I spent 1/2 hr re-doing the blogskin, oh and adding some music.

nice right?? i know. thank you. e he e he.

im damn hyper right now.

staff sgt lynette!!! ((:

im her!! hahaha.

feeza: part d d d d d d d d d d d d d d!!!

spag: will mail it tmr. (:

i thought u said u'll care. i don't expect much. just a simple gesture. damn it.

the title says it all.

doesn't it?

though i prefer to keep some stuffs within myself.

go on.

IGNORE.

im so glad that whenever i wanna say 'hi'
my body holds me back.

im so glad that whenever i go to your blog,
the whole internet hangs.

im so glad whenever i click ur name on msn,
the whole msn hangs.

im so glad that whenever i feel like smsing you,
i'll be crying. too weak to do anything.

so friends are like this eh?
-----
Chris went back to australia. i kinda thought bout him when i saw the nail buffer in my pencil box.

that kuku went to put it under his armpit. sicko.

oh well. chinese class.

hoho.
----
ANYWAYS. didn't have my dinner today. because of the follwing reasons:

- maggie out of stock
- campbelles soup out of stock.
- eggs out of stock. [either it is, or i dont know where my mom kept it]

so. i had crunchy today. with seaweed and a bowl of overnight's soup.

still hungry. cos i didn't eat lunch.

I ran the whole of bedok reservoir just now.

okay okay. run and walk.

den i sat down at the same place. and stare into the water.

thinking about the same question. again and again and again.

ssc's tmr. SHIT

i realised a change in me.